In less than a week, all of my children will be going to
school. I will become the mother of a 5th grader, a
2nd grader, and a kindergartner. Excited, yes.
Scared, yes. Tonight we are going to the open house and
meeting teachers, dropping off supplies, and signing up
for volunteer opportunities.
A new chapter is beginning in our household. I will have no
preschoolers. My toddler days are well behind us. I can
barely remember the sweet days of infancy. To anyone
that has been through this before: Does it ever slow down??
Last night, Ian decided to have his training wheels taken off
of his bike. Just like that, he hopped on and biked away.
I was so excited for him. He was so happy. His grin spread
all across his face. It all happened so fast I didn't even get
a picture. I wasn't prepared. I wasn't ready.
That my friends is how I am feeling right now. I'm not
prepared, I'm not ready. For what? For all of my children
to be away from me. For my identity to change again. To be
the parent of no little ones. To be my in laws care takers. To
take on more medical adventures than I desire. To be a
friend long distance after my dear friend moved. To comfort
my best friend for years to come after her dad died in a
drowning accident. Why do I feel so unprepared for all of this?
Why do I dread all of this?
Change. I need a map. A drawing. A visual aide. However, life
doesn't come with one. Taking a leap of faith is hard for me.
Trusting has always been difficult. What else can I do?
So, what can I look forward to in this new season of my life?
Being fully available to my children without having a little one
at home to be concerned about. Relishing in the 2 1/2 hours
a day I will be alone. Having time to look after medical details,
appts.,etc. Become a better friend. Sustain the important
relationships that I have. Be a better wife and helper.
That is the direction I am headed. What does it look like?
Not sure yet. Excited, yes. Scared, yes.
Zepheniah 3:17
"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you
with his love. He will rejoice over you with singing."
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Phil 3:12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
7 comments:
He is with you and will never forsake you!
Hey, I'm right there with you!!! I like change, but only change that I'm controlling. Keep clinging to the Rock, He is what won't change!!!
change is never easy, but the seasons of life are gradual, each one with its own sweetness. enjoy them all;they pass quickly.....
love you always, mom
nice to see you blogging again! don't let it keep you up too late!
Your mom is one smart lady! I really like her comment.
A new chapter is beginning in our household, too. Both of our boys are in college this year. We are empty-nesters. I'm sad the boys aren't here with us, but I'm looking forward to spending more time with my husband.
Praying for God to give you great strength and endurance as you begin this new journey in your life.
Blessings,
Beth
P.S. I love the new header and background!
Speaking of change I like your new look. It's kind of wierd to be in a second marriage with three little boys and two college kids. A week does not go by when I feel that I am holding the outline in my hand, worn with a few years but that feeling of having been there before. It does give me a scope, but it still feels like the first child leaving all over again. Changing the family dynamics again and again. You are going to do great. I tell my husband that when all three boys are in school I will stay in my jammies until ten minutes before picking them up from school. Not really, but just to slow things down.
I understand- and yet i'm learning- life is about new seasons and constant change... glad your back blogging!
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