With Faith, Hope, and Love

I feel an urging, a stirring, in my heart lately.
I think it is God's voice asking me to discern
the way I spend my days. Some hard times
have come my way and I see the importance
of the people that surround me each and every
day. Those that support, encourage, uplift, and
walk beside me through thick and through thin.
My husband, my children, my sisters, my
parents, my best girlies. I have loved blogging.
I have loved getting to know many of you
through this virtual world. I have prayed and
been prayed for. It's hard for me to let go.
It always has been. So, I will take a time off
from blogging for a while to be still. To listen to
the voice of God. To spend time in His word. To
spend time with my children, my husband, and
to pray for many. Life has many twists and turns.
It's never idle or quiet. I'm just turning a corner
right now that requires my full attention. That's
all. Love to you all. Happy Thanksgiving. Blessings.
-Amy

Homemade Goodies

I love blogs that share recipes. I often search for and try

new recipes. It's sort of a hobby that I have. So, having

found a great blog that shares these every Friday, I thought

I would join in and share one of my new favorite cookies.

Enjoy.

Oatmeal Cookies

1/2 Cup Granulated Sugar

1/2 Cup Packed Brown Sugar

1 stick Butter

1/2 tsp. Baking Soda

1/2 tsp. Ground Cinnamon

1/4 tsp. Baking powder

1/2 tsp. Vanilla

1/4 tsp. Salt

1 Egg

1 1/2 Cup Oats

1 Cup Flour

1 Cup Raisins (optional)

Heat Oven to 375 degrees. Mix Sugar, brown

sugar, butter, baking soda, cinnamon, baking

powder, vanilla, salt and egg in medium bowl.

Stir in Oats, Flour, and Raisins. Drop by

rounded teaspoonfuls about 2 inches apart onto

ungreased baking sheet. Bake 10 minutes or until

light brown. Makes 24-30 cookies.

Happy Weekend

I'm heading out of town with the girls. Going to visit my
dear friend that moved this summer. Oh how I miss her.

So, the kiddos get to eat the usual junk food with dad.
Here is what sits upon our shelves. Cereal selections are
Corn-Pops, Cookie Crisp, Golden Grahams, and Cinnamon
Toast Crunch. Orange Crush Pop. Frozen Corn Dogs. Doritos.
Ice Cream. Coupons for Wendy's Frosty's and McDonald's
Happy Meals are on the counter as well. Thank goodness
for the apples that were purchased. They should at least give
them a dose of fiber when I'm away.

This is what I'm up against every time hubby comes grocery
shopping with me. It's a battle of trans fat vs. fiber. Sugar vs.
vitamins. He often opens our cupboards and states that there is
nothing but sticks and barley in them. (I don't cook with barley
and I am pretty sure that I don't use sticks either. )

So, I hope that my honey has a great weekend with our kiddos.
Lots of playtime. Sugar and pure junk to be consumed.
They better enjoy it while they can.
It will be back to eating bark when I return. :)

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Baby Girl.
You made me a mama 11 years ago.
You changed life as we knew it.
You have blessed us beyond measure.
I am so proud of you and treasure you
dearly. I'll love you forever.



Happy Birthday to my heart.
I am so proud to call you my husband.
You bless me and our little one's everyday.
My sweetheart, my honey, my love.
Olive Juice.

Remembering again

This week I had a dream that I gave birth to a tiny

little 1 lb. baby girl. We named her Grace. She looked

like my other babies and in the strange way of dreams,

she was doll like yet human. I awoke and thought about

my other babies. How they looked, smelled, and sounded

on the days they arrived. There is one baby that was

very different from the children that I have. I won't look

upon that little one until I meet them in heaven. I will finally

see them, take in their smell, and listen to their sweet voice.

What a precious day that will be. I am so grateful for the

children I have here. Some days I may take them for granted.

I try not to and yet in my human imperfection I sometimes

forget the gift that was given to me. It's little reminders like

today, and on those nights when I dream of the little one

that we lost that the depth of my soul realizes just

how fragile and precious life is. It truly is.

She signed my book!!

What a beautiful night. She was a wonderful speaker. Witty

and charming. Intelligent and comical. Loved every minute.

Here I am (albeit blurry) with my Grandma, my Aunt, and

my Mom and of course Diana Gabaldon. It truly was a

dream come true. I only had to wait 229 people to get my

turn. It was worth every minute!!

I AM SO EXCITED!

My favorite author Diana Gabaldon will be in a
nearby city for a reading/signing of her new
book on Thursday. My wonderful hubby brought
me Chipotle for dinner and casually set down
a book in front of me. I about wet myself when
I realized it was book #7 in the series. Then to
top it off he showed me the newspaper article
that said she would be here in 2 days.
OH MY GOODNESS!

Listen, I found my son's name from this book.
I dream in kilts and am in love with the characters.
Historical fiction is my idea of nirvana. I have waited
3 years for this.
Did I tell you I was EXCITED? Cause, I am.

Beginnings

This boy loves a few things. Legos, star wars, building
blocks,play-doh, playing games, wrestling, having
friends over,eating sugar, and being read to. However,
this is his new love. Too bad my husband ran over his
bike the day after he learned. The bike still works, the
tire is a bit warped, but Ian doesn't mind. He hops on
and adjusts just fine. Maybe he's trying to teach me a
few things.

I loved this shot of my children on the first day of school.
They were getting ready to get pictures taken and the
excitement of the gackle of girls that walks with them
to school pulled their attention away. Sometimes it's just
nice to have a friend or two to walk with. Isn't it?

All were excited to head off to school. Autumn is completely
prepared and ready to go. Mara probably could use a few
more hours of sleep but still happy to see friends. Ian
is giddy with anticipation.

Me, I am fine. I had two whole hours to myself this morning.
It was pure bliss. Apparently I will survive. :)

In less than a week, all of my children will be going to
school. I will become the mother of a 5th grader, a
2nd grader, and a kindergartner. Excited, yes.
Scared, yes. Tonight we are going to the open house and
meeting teachers, dropping off supplies, and signing up
for volunteer opportunities.

A new chapter is beginning in our household. I will have no
preschoolers. My toddler days are well behind us. I can
barely remember the sweet days of infancy. To anyone
that has been through this before: Does it ever slow down??

Last night, Ian decided to have his training wheels taken off
of his bike. Just like that, he hopped on and biked away.
I was so excited for him. He was so happy. His grin spread
all across his face. It all happened so fast I didn't even get
a picture. I wasn't prepared. I wasn't ready.

That my friends is how I am feeling right now. I'm not
prepared, I'm not ready. For what? For all of my children
to be away from me. For my identity to change again. To be
the parent of no little ones. To be my in laws care takers. To
take on more medical adventures than I desire. To be a
friend long distance after my dear friend moved. To comfort
my best friend for years to come after her dad died in a
drowning accident. Why do I feel so unprepared for all of this?
Why do I dread all of this?

Change. I need a map. A drawing. A visual aide. However, life
doesn't come with one. Taking a leap of faith is hard for me.
Trusting has always been difficult. What else can I do?
So, what can I look forward to in this new season of my life?
Being fully available to my children without having a little one
at home to be concerned about. Relishing in the 2 1/2 hours
a day I will be alone. Having time to look after medical details,
appts.,etc. Become a better friend. Sustain the important
relationships that I have. Be a better wife and helper.

That is the direction I am headed. What does it look like?
Not sure yet. Excited, yes. Scared, yes.

Zepheniah 3:17
"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you
with his love. He will rejoice over you with singing."

Until later

Hard to believe it has been over a month since I have last
posted. The summer presses on. Busy days and evenings
have been the life that we know. I have so much whirling
about in my head but not sure how to process it all and
put it into words.The direction and purpose of this blog
is very uncertain to me. I still continue to check in on many
of my blog friends. I have loved getting to know so many.

So, the long and short. I'm taking a little break from my
blog for now. Most likely for the rest of the summer.
I hope to find clarity in what I write and post about.
Until later, blessings my friends.

Still here

Still here. Haven't gone anywhere.
Just, oh, so, busy. I know you all can
relate.


School is out. I've been mostly (tee hee)
enjoying the kiddos. In-laws need me a lot.
Doctor appts, therapies. You name it.
Grandpa Jack is having surgery again
soon so it will only get busier. VBS is
around the corner. We have a vacation
coming up. I've got walls that need
painting.


However, I do want to share about a special event in our
family before I sign off. May 31st, our daughter
Autumn was baptized.

Here she is coming up out of the water with our youth
pastor and her daddy. It was an incredible thing to
watch her make this decision to follow in Christ's
footsteps. (Matt 3, Luke 3, Acts 19, 1 Peter 3)

I hope you are all well and enjoying this beautiful season.

Thankful

First of all, thank you from the bottom of my heart to all
that prayed for my father in law. He came home a few
days after surgery and is doing o.k. He is quite bummed
that the surgery did not work and that he will have to
have another. This hospital stay seems to have taken a
toll on him also. He is not springing back as quickly as he
would have liked. He had trouble talking and expressing
himself after surgery. All testing came out fine so he just
has to have therapy to help out. I have been taking care
of his household quite a bit since he came home. A few
months ago I prayed for God to show me how I can be
more Christlike in my every day. I see this care taking
as an opportunity to serve the way Jesus served. I just
wish my human side didn't feel the exhaustion and at
times I have found myself grumbling.
How humbling that has been.

Another sobering reality of the last few weeks is the
frailty of life. My grandfather has been very ill. He has
come from many states away to live in my parents
house. Hopefully soon his biopsies will come in. I'm
anxious to know what is causing this wonderful man
to be so sick. His wife, my grandmother, is the
sweet lady that passed away in November. I am deeply
sad for him losing his wife and facing this right now.
However, I got to spend the day with him today and
listen to his heart. He told me that he was never scared
during his hospital stays. He has great comfort in
knowing where he is going after he leaves this earth.
He has such enormous faith. I will treasure the
talks we had today forever.

Tonight I was reading to my children. They each have their
own bedtime devotion books that my mom gave them for
Easter. Each book fits each child so well. It has been such
an incredible blessing to read these to them. After reading
their devotions they can read in their bed on their own.
Mara picked up a chapter book that Autumn just read. It's
a little above her reading level but it has a picture of a
horse on the front and I assumed that was the reason
she wanted to read it. (She loves all things with horses)
I opened the front cover and found this letter written to
her. Click on into enlarge it. It is incredibly sweet.


My garden has been planted, my children are all
well, my hubby is truly my bestest friend, and
summer is almost here. I am thankful.

"I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness."
Jeremiah 31:3

Update

Grandpa Jack is stable. He is spending the night in
the ICU to recover. His surgery did not go as
planned and there will have to be a plan B from
here. His original aneurysm that was coiled
has regrown by 50%. The neurosurgeon tried
for nearly 6 hours to place a stint in his artery so
more blood flow does not cause more damage
to the aneurysm and rupture again. It was
unsuccessful. The poor guy had surgery
through both of his groin areas and poked
around in his brain. Amazing technology.
Unfortunately he is an extremely complex case
that will probably need a very risky and major
surgery to fix things. His surgeon will be
consulting his colleagues from around the country
and getting several opinions before we move
forward with anything else. He may even have
to go out of state for this next surgery. So, today
was a lot of waiting (Ian was a trooper), praying,
hoping, and a little bit of disappointment. I am
thankful that we were able to say hello to him even
if only for a moment. He looked a little rough and
was having a lot of pain. If you could whisper another
prayer on behalf of our dear Grandpa Jack I would
greatly appreciate it. Blessings dear friends.

Grandpa Jack

If you have a moment, please say a prayer for Grandpa Jack.
He is my father in law pictured here with my bro-in law (left),
sis-in law, and hubby (right.)

Two years ago he had 4 brain aneurysms that ruptured. He
had multiple surgeries to save his life. He is going in for
surgery tomorrow morning to have one of the coils replaced
that helped save him. It is not holding up and needs to be
repaired before it collapses. Jack is a miracle. He is walking,
talking, and living because of the wonderful physicians that
attended him and by the grace of God.

His surgery is Wednesday May 6th at 7:30 central time.
Thank you for praying.

Oliver

I am finally the proud new auntie of a little

handsome boy named Oliver. He only weighs in

at 4 lbs and isn't fond of bathing yet. He didn't

like getting his first set of shots either but who

could blame him. Poor guy. I can't wait to meet

him and bring him a new toy. We will be traveling

to my sister's this summer and I will get to cuddle

with him.

Isn't he cute??? Now, to my darling sisters-when am I

going to be an auntie for real???

Not Me Monday

I did not rip down the wall paper border in our bathroom

and start priming the walls. I did not take off the trim,

towel racks, and decorations one day when hubby was at

work. Not me!



My hubby did not tell me he needs to give me a sedative

for 8 months out of the year to keep me from tearing our

house apart. Who me?



I did not secretly love the fact that Awana is done till fall

and that I am not teaching toddlers on Sundays for the

whole summer. What kind of child care worker am I?



I did not sit in a meeting this week learning about 5th grade

band and cry a little inside because my girl is growing up

too quickly.



I did not look for jobs this week in the paper and be

thoroughly disgusted with my lack of options in

my previous field. What now?



Lastly, I did not hide my middle daughter's blanket

(she's 7 and sucks her thumb) three weeks ago and

think it was fine because she had never asked about

it. Only to discover she told my husband she thought

she lost in when we visited friends in our neighboring

state and was too upset to tell me. I did not feel a huge

weight of guilt and pull it out my dresser for her.

Not me-my mothering skills are way better than that.



So very glad to participate in another edition of

Not Me Monday because that means Stellan is home!

Yeah! Head on over to My Charming Kids to see what

others are most definitely not doing. :)

Wordless Wednesday-Last Summer

April

Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl!!

Right from the beginning, we were friends.

What a blessing that God sent us that beautiful April day.

I'm so blessed to have you for my sister, dear one.

Look at my little dolly that I got to play with every day.
You were a darling little baby. I am sure I thought you

were mine all mine.

What a lovely lady you have become my sweet sister.

I love you. Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl!!

Love That Girl

From Head to Toe....

She has her own sense of fashion....

and I think she's cute! Love that girl.

AWANA

My children participate in a Wednesday night bible club
called Awana. Hubby and I both volunteer for it also.
So this is where you will find all 5 of us each week. Our
kids love attending where they have great friends, play
games, hear bible stories, and memorize scripture.

Both of my girls were awarded today at church because
of their accomplishments this year. Mara memorized 56
verses this year alone and completed her book a few
weeks ago. This was no small task either. She learned
all the names of the old testament (new testament was
last year) and recited Psalm 23. I am so proud of her.
She is such a happy little learner and really strives to
do well!

Autumn is in her second year of her age group and had to

memorize 100 verses this year. Some of them were quite

difficult. Here is the last set of verses she had to do to

complete her book. It is a huge challenge and I am so

proud of her tenacity.

1 Thessalonians 4:16-18

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven,

with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and

with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise

first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be

caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the

Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.

Therefore encourage each other with these words.

My girls are growing up so quickly. Their time as children

is so fleeting. I am so happy that during these years

we have taken the time to teach them righteousness. We

are not perfect and fall short daily. However, the word

of the Lord stands forever. Can I get an Amen??

A little this, A little that

Do you ever have one of those weeks that literally flies
by? Mine has been extremely filled and although I've
checked in on blogs, I have neglected my own. What
have we been up to? Glad you asked.



Monday was bible study and track and field practice.


Tuesday brought Sunny to the vet (declawed), Ian
had a MD appt. , Goodwill dropoff, went to the
library for story time, signed up Ian for t-ball,
did yardwork all evening. Went to the Park.
It's finally Spring!


Wednesday had a playdate at my place, went to
Home Depot, stopped at the bank, had Wednesday
night church.


Thursday my brother in law came over for day 2 of
home repairs (he is very talented), Dentist appt.
(my first filling without novacaine), shopped at our
local co-op, picked up Sunny from vet (poor thing),
and had an evening meeting.


Tomorrow I will be watching a friend's child, playdate,
and my sister has surgery.


Hoping you all had a wonderful Easter. Ours was blessed.
Worship at church was awesome. My dinner turned out
fab if I do say so. We played Wii fit with my in laws and
ate chocolate. What could be better???

Just Another Sunday

We woke to this winter wonderland. Yes, it's April and
it should be time to dig in the dirt but instead my kiddos
are making snowmen.


Autumn couldn't wait to get outside and play in it. I just
took pictures from the window. :)


It's wet sticky snow. Perfect for Mara to make her snow
man with.

I know the snow is pretty and the kiddos enjoy playing in
it but it's been like this since October. Enough already.

April 1st

Hello April, Why so snowy???????

Meet Baby Bone

Ian has a doll that he has named "Baby Bone." I have
questioned the name of this doll many times to discover that
even Ian probably doesn't know why he has dubbed him with
this interesting name.

I am not one to give "girl" toys to boys and "boy" toys to

girls to keep them well rounded. I just happen to have both

a son and two daughters with various toys in our house. This

doll was something his sister Mara got for him one night at

church. They have a store that they can "buy" items from

wit hthe "money" they earn from memorizing scripture.

Mara is generous like that. She always buys him things.

Yesterday, Ian told me that baby Bone wanted Ice cream

for his afternoon snack. I played along and made up bowls.

After all, Ian will be in Kindergarten next year and our

days of imaginative play will be drastically shortened. I know

this all too well having my girls spend the greater part of

their days in school while their mother misses them.

Luckily, I had a house cleaner on hand so I could get back

to playing with Ian and baby Bone without delay.

Happy Birthday

I can't believe you are 5 years old either. Wah!!!



Ian, my silly faced boy. Lover of all things legos, star wars,
aliens, space ships, construction vehicles, trains, air planes,
pirates, card and board games, scooby-doo and spongebob,
sand boxes, parks, riding bikes, garage sales, theme parks,
footlong subs, pizza, salami, cookies, and marshmallows.
You make me laugh little one.

I cannot believe how fast the time has flown. Is that really

a #5 candle on your cake?

You and I have a date on your big day. It involves blasting

off and fighting space aliens. I can't wait!

Ian, you are wonderful. You are so very precious to me.

You really are my sunshine. I love you to the moon and back!!!

Baby Stellan....

Desperately needs healing. His heart is
struggling to beat correctly. He is very ill.

Please pray with me asking God's peace be
upon his family, protection for his little body,
knowledge for his medical staff and complete
and total healing. His beautiful mama was my
sister's photographer for her wedding and he
came along. It was so wonderful to meet this
beautiful blessing that I had prayed for and
I am down on my knees for him once again.


To send his mama an encouraging note head over
here. I am sure it will be much appreciated.

What Remains

I read this and wept. If my heart could write, these
are the words it would say.


If I spend my days building skyscrapers with blocks,
assembling cool stuff out of LEGO's and creating
relationships with other moms at Starbucks, but have
not love, I am only the siren of the kids' ride on fire
truck, annoyingly stuck on hold.

If I have the gift of knowing which child attempted
to flush the Hot Wheels down the toilet and which one
pushed her sister, and if I have faith that somehow
we'll survive life's emergencies, but have not love, I
am nothing.

If I save all my box tops for school and give outgrown
clothing to the local shelter, and if I surrender my body
to stretch marks and under eye circles (without the
benefit of botox, tanning salons, or diet bars), but have
not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient when someone isn't ready to use the
big girl potty. It is kind when my husband has a hard
day. It doesn't envy my neighbor who drives the new
sport utility vehicle I can't afford.

It is not rude, snapping at my spouse or children when
things don't go my way. It is not easily angered at
perceived or real injustices.

It always protects the smallest, sweetest family
confidences; always trusts God to provide my children's
needs; always hopes in the freshness of tomorrow
and the bright future of family; always perseveres amid
hardship and doubt.

Where there are sleepless nights, they shall end. Where
there are diapers, Little leagues and dioramas built from
shoe boxes, they will cease. Where there is knowledge
of baby care trends, discipline strategies and boy-girl
problems, it will pass away.

Now these three remain: faith, lived out in my daily
circumstances and instilled in my children; hope, of one
day rejoicing with my family in heaven; and love, which
covers over a multitude of less than perfect moments.

But the greatest of these is love. It is what remains.....
long after I am gone.

Written by Cindy Sigler Dagnan for Focus on the Family

Another one bites the dust

Germ Fest 2009 WILL be ending soon.


I am so ready for Spring!!!!

Check

Any guesses what I have been up to the last 3 weeks
and am still up to???

Taking temps-Check.
Pushing Fluids-Check.
Giving Meds-Check.
Giving Sponge baths-Check.
Catching Vomit-Check.
Doctors Appointments-Check.
Doing Laundry-Check.
Sanitizing Surfaces-Check.
Developing a Personal Relationship with our Pharmacy-Check,
Double Check.
NOT getting sleep-Check.

What have you been up to lately??

Pertussis anyone?

I really don't want to keep talking about
illness but since we've been living and
breathing it for a couple of weeks now I
finally have an answer as to why Mara
was so sick. I'm sure the strep throat
didn't help but neither would the
Whooping Cough that she was diagnosed
with today. She has already been treated
for it with the antibiotics that she received
for the strep. She's covered and getting
better finally. The rest of us however are
under a bit of quarantine and got started
on antibiotics. All five of us. By the way,
she was vaccinated for this as an infant. We
did what we could to prevent this. Outbreaks
still happen I guess.

The doctor said...

She has strep throat. What???
I didn't even think that one was a
possibility. No fever and she only
said her throat felt tight. Not sore.
I thought that was because she has
been coughing up her lungs every
5 minutes. They tested her for
whooping cough since that is how
she sounds. We'll know more on
that in 2 days. One more trip to
the pharmacy today for Zithromax
since it covers both. Oh happy day!

This and That

She's been doing a little of this.
(lounging in the bathtub soaking in the bubbles)


And a lot of that.
(lounging in my bed, jammies on, nebulizer going, watching
movies) The pink sunglasses are just a bonus. Mara has
her very own sense of style and even in her illness she will
look good.

Today she has been home from school for 4 days. I'm
probably not sending her tomorrow either. The prednisone
is helping. Thank goodness I taught her how to swallow pills
a few years ago because the liquid form of this medicine is
downright nasty. The down side is that steroids make her so
crabby, tired, and constantly hungry. Only a couple more
days of this and she will be back to my happy little sweetheart.
Just waiting out the storm of this illness. Asthma stinks.

Cookie Time

Tonight I helped unload 182 cases of cookies.
I brought home 134 boxes. We ate 1/2 of a
box of Thin Mints and tapped into the new
Dulce De Leche box also. There goes all my
hard work over the last 4 weeks of sweating
on the treadmill. Oh well. It's for a good cause-
right?